The objectively best things that have ever been on the Web

I’ve thought about it a lot and these are the best things that have ever been on the Web in order and this list is objective not subjective so fuck you.

1. The Britt and Tiff posts to Craigslist Missed connections in 2001.
(And if you have any idea what I’m talking about without googling the internet archive you are a Master Mason and I will love you unconditionally regardless of anything else, yum-yum.) And look, okay, these aren’t in and of themselves that funny. I know. Reading them now you’re like, wut? But you have to look at them in their place and time. Craig and his list used to just be a local san franciscoy/ay area thing. Local people went to CL missed connections for the same reasons people read them in alt weeklies: they were desperately bad. But unlike your local Wednesday streetcarpet, CL offered the chance to reply troll. And so people did. But Britt and Tiff took that next level, and instead of just snarkily replying to people (the norm) started using CL for narratives. And more to the point, she/they/he/whoever just used the board to post whatever they wanted. Craigslist was whatever they wanted it to be. If you ever read the best of craigslist, it was because of  the pioneering work of Britt and Tiff. Or maybe I’m overstating things. Because in fairness, it was really dumb. So anyway, eat shit if you don’t like Britt and Tiff.  

2. Filepile

3. Mahir. But only the very first original xoom.com site, or whatever was before that, before he had his own domain or email address or any of that other mersh bullshit.

4. That Autotune the News with Joe Biden where he sings you’ve got to believe.

5. Mike Monteiro’s twitter from 2008-2011

6. All Your Base

7. There was probably something on 4chan I missed. Fuck it. Let’s just say 4chan. 

8. The Ben Brown video about how Metafilter makes you smarter and more angry

9. Suck.com, Feed Magazine, and The Finger, which were all actually the same thing but they didn’t realize it which is why they’re gone. (And shut up, just shut up, about Plastic.)

10. Paul Ford Choire Sicha

11. The XKCD about someone being wrong on the Internet

12. The entire trapped in a closet series

13. Kottke.org

14. The ipad

15. Ready Steadman Go

16. The Internet vs. research paper cartoon 

17. Brunching Shuttlecocks

18. keyboard cat

19. That long post Kanye wrote that time he rage quit the Internet

20. That time Gizmodo turned off all the TVs at CES. 

21. Some fat kid

22. We’re all fat kids

 

UPDATED: I almost forgot. 23. BArack Obame is your new Bicycle. (eat me)

 

OOOOOOOOOPS: I left off number 25, Anil Dash’s Prince obsession (please stop cyber bullying me)

 

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  1. fancycwabs reblogged this from nickdouglas and added:
    In other news, Nick’s too young to remember The Brunching Shuttlecocks.
  2. nickdouglas reblogged this from emptyage and added:
    Mat Honan must have made a typo and accidentally deleted the real list: Pretty Much Everywhere The story behind...
  3. cognitiveinequality reblogged this from emptyage and added:
    Mmmmm…. Yellow Mustard…yum yum!
  4. thisisviolence reblogged this from emptyage and added:
    I’m not sure if this makes me feel more or less old. Older in that I remember basically all of these. But less close to...

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